Do you like yourself? What you are? People have different views of themselves, some rating extremely high, others very low, and still others just a moderate assessment. There are of course reasons for such disparity, but there are ways and means as well to come up with a balance.

A person’s ego, his entire self-esteem, is affected by several factors including the environment he is in and the people around him. One’s nature may have started to form since childhood or perhaps even earlier in infancy as even babies are observed to already differ in several ways. Looking at a family, one can notice that the siblings are not the same in characteristics. The development thus of one’s self-esteem is affected by the people surrounding an individual, significant persons like parents, brothers, sisters, other relatives, friends and several others in his environment.

It is a common desire and goal of everyone to be happy and contented. Yet, many are often stressed because of frustrations, failures and disappointments. In regarding one’s self, there is a tendency to put importance on what others think of him, so that self-esteem is affected. When negative remarks are often heard, the person may become shy and withdraw. There is a tendency thus to develop inferiority and low self-esteem. Positive opinions, on the other hand, boost the ego and enhance one’s confidence. This may contribute to a high, positive outlook of oneself.

There is a need to have a balanced self-esteem. It may be proper to also love oneself since this creates a positive, healthy view of a person especially of others. When an individual is able to love others as much as he loves himself, there may follow a feeling of stability, vibrancy and a better chance of elevating the ego.

A person willing to accept what he is must also be honest in assessing his own self. He should be able to determine his strengths vis a vis his weaknesses, for only then can he see a more realistic self. It is also necessary that steps be taken to address the weaknesses. One can find ways to compensate such and may try looking for areas where he may be better off, an example may be to concentrate on a certain skill which he may be good at.

Where there is no change possible, the person may really have to accept it. There may be some embarrassment or other negative feeling at first, but with determination, the person may be able to overcome and teach himself to accept. Strengths can be further enhanced by continually putting these to good use, and maintaining a positive outlook of everything.

While it is best for a person to refrain from comparing himself with others, lest he becomes proud and boastful when regarding so highly of himself, or becomes so low and inferior when there are much better ones. Of course, parents should also be responsible enough never to compare their children with each other or with neighbors and friends since this impacts negatively on them. The individual must exert effort to avoid harboring negative feelings as this may only give way for discouragement to seep in and may limit himself in exploring ways to improve. One should also learn to appreciate others and set aside his ego so as to keep away envy or jealousy.

It would be indeed rewarding for each one to learn to “tame” his ego, teach himself to accept what he is, and be able to love not only himself but others as well who are a significant part of what should be a happy, realistic and purposive life.

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